Miss Ohio USA

➵ Several years ago I felt the Holy Spirit stir me up to enter the Miss Ohio USA competition. I was in New York modeling at the time thinking, “am I really going to do this?” I had never been in a pageant before and the thought of this made me quite nervous. I knew some girls had been preparing not just months, but years. I had a modeling background, but this was different.

The money got raised, the dress got found and I could see God’s hand in it all. The nervousness got mixed with excitement because my investigative mind wanted to know what the Lord had for me there. As we drove to Portsmouth, Ohio, I gazed out the window with butterflies in my stomach. I had no idea what was going to happen, I just knew I was supposed to go.

There were SO many amazing young ladies there. As I looked around I thought, “what am I doing here?” The Lord quickly nudged me and said, “get your eyes on Me.” They called the top 15 and my name was called. I remember thinking, “oh no they didn’t!!” They called the top ten, top five, my name was still being called. Finally it was time for the top two. When I heard my name called I paused in utter speechlessness. The Lord really took my breathe away.

As I stood there hand in hand with the other girl, it brought back memories of when I was standing at the end with Adrianne on #ANTM . I thought to myself, “surely He didn’t bring me this far to place second AGAIN.” Well, the Lord did. Once again I got so close to winning, but didn’t. I was heartbroken for a little while.

God may stir us to do things that may not turn out the way we hoped, prayed for or thought. We may get a little mad thinking we know better than Him. I know I felt that way when I walked off the stage. I didn’t know why He didn’t allow me to win when I know He could have. I had to remind myself of His sovereignty. Who am I to think I know better than the One who knows all, sees all? It was so hard to truly believe that He knew better at this point, but I chose to trust Him.

// Isaiah 55:8-9 //
“For My thoughts are Not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

If you find yourself in similar shoes don’t allow your discouragement to put a tainted view on how you see God. Don’t allow the hurt to make you question His love for you. Don’t allow the confusion to fog His thoughts towards you. Just because He didn’t grant it, doesn’t mean He isn’t good. ➵ 💕 #soulchaser