Memories Played In My Mind Like A Movie

➵ While worshipping the Lord at church the this past weekend, I saw parts of my life (the ones that were messy, painful, scary, and lonely) play in my mind like a movie in fast forward. They came rushing in like a wave, causing me to tear up. I stood there in utter awe of the Lord Jesus.

When I passed out years ago from malnutrition, my mom caught my fall as we stood in line at the checkout counter at the mall. Instead of her arms surrounding me, I saw God’s. When I went to Australia years ago for modeling, I stayed in a really bad part of town (that’s where the model’s apartment was). Even though I went there alone, I wasn’t alone at all. I saw God walking me with everywhere I went. There were times, when He was even holding my hand. When I was in NYC during the blackout, He showed me that He didn’t give me any castings that day so I would be at the apartment and not away from my place. Even though I was surrounded by darkness, I saw Him being my “light” and I wasn’t afraid. When I was in LA and I rented an old beat up car, He had the car die as I was pulling off the exit and not on the congested freeway. When I lost America’s Next Top Model (I didn’t do a nude/semi-nude shoot and that hurt me in the end), I saw Jesus putting a jewel on my crown in heaven.

Y’all, as I type this my eyes are being flooded with tears. In the moments where we think God is no where to be found, He is walking with us, holding our hand, or carrying us. I hope and pray that God shows you some moments, just like He showed me of His unfailing love for you. Instead of asking God, “why did you let this happen,” “why am I here,” or just “why....” let’s ask God, “let me see YOU in this,” for if I see You, I know I can make it through this. Life is filled with trials whether you are a Christian or not, but isn’t so amazing to know that as a follower of Christ you have the Lord God walking with you?!!! ➵ 💛 #soulchaser